Struggling Mum with mental Health issues

I am 39 and have a son who is 18 soon. All my life I have struggled to make his life ok . Its very hard to have mental health problems and to fit into society. We have been attacked verbally and physically by people who make fun us. I never wanted to have to beg or ask for help but I cant see a way out of this in my own head . I am going into hospital soon for an operation and quite frankly Im scared. My partner died suddenly nearly three yrs ago and my son is my life . I dont need a huge amount of money just enough to help us out of this mess. I dont have the courage to ask for help from others because I feel that Im failing as a mum . This request is done because I have nowhere else to turn. I also help others out that are struggling because they have had their benefits stopped but that leaves me with less but they dont have anything to pay back with except friendship which helps but my needs at the moment are financial: total required to make things better around £1000 every donation will be greatfully accepted and if you want to see where your money has gone then please just ask and I will show you thanks xx