pleaseee help me :\'(

Inrealnee, Brazil

i am 21 year old girl and i live in a poor country and i am in real need of help. im crying as i write this because i dont know what to do anymore or where to go . i am 21 but i havent set foot in a college or university .. my parents cant afford it . i live in a very dangerous poor area and sometimes i dont have anything to eat at home and dont have enough money to go and buy some food. i havent bought any new clothes in 5 years cos my parents simply dont have any money, imagine what this might feel like for a girl. my family is very poor. My mom doesnt work , she is 60 years old , my dad is too , and the money he gets is too little. i really want to get a job , i have been trying to get a job , but places just wont hire me. its also very hard for me cos i never had the opportunity to go to university and i dont have any degrees or titles. the last boyfriend i had was abusive in words and in actions and he did very little for me , instead he demanded that i help him out and with the very little money i had, i bought things like toilet paper and fruits for him, i did this because of love. i have such a deep depression and i always have panic attacks and start crying all of a sudden cos my life is really just , just so miserable... :'( sometimes i even think about killing myself . i try not to show this to my parents cos i dont want them to worry i just want to feel like a normal girl again :'( really , i just hope you have good intentions .