Please help me get my kids to a safe place.

SoBlessed, Oregon

My wife started remembering the abuse & rape done to her by her father when she was little. We brought charges against him, but it was too late for anything to be done. She stopped sleeping, started drinking more and became irrational. We argued and she attacked me while holding one of our boys. I held her until she calmed down, but in doing so I caused her to relive her past abuses by her father and another man. She left me and took our children the next day. She filed for separation a few days later. All of this happened last May (2011). I finally got to see the children in September, but it has been an uphill battle. She doesn't want to talk to me at all and there are now allegations of abuse. I have been trying to get custody of my children for over a year now. My lawyer has been amazing. She has fought all the false allegations brought against me with nothing but pure truth. It has been really easy to fight these lies, but the fight takes time and time costs money. Last November my bus was hit by a woman on her phone. It threw the bus 20 feet and gave me a concussion. It messed up my eyes, hearing, back, neck and spine. I haven't been able to work since then. I am on worker's compensation, but they decided to stop paying at the end of April. They are fighting all the claims and refuse to settle. I love my children and my wife. I will keep waiting for her to come around. As a husband, I believe I should love her no matter what. I want her to get better and I want my kids to be safe. Unfortunately, I don't think they are safe right now. My oldest has been grabbed by the throat by his care provider. The eight and seven year old both saw it happen. The youngest wasn't there to see it. The seven year old showed me bruises given to him by their care provider. I reported all of this to DHS and the police, but with the separation they believe I'm just trying to cause problems. The reports were called lies and my children have to go to the same care provider. I have been fighting to get custody for a long time now. My credit cards are maxed out with legal bills. My phone rings 3-4 times a day with collections calls. My lawyer sent me a letter last week asking for more money or she will have to drop me as a client. I need help. I'm not sure about doing this, but I'm at the end of my rope. I need to get my kids to a safe place, even if that means they're not with me. My feelings don't matter. I just want them safe. Please help me get my kids to a safe place.