Need a home to get away from physical and mental abuse.

NikkiNINT, Kentucky

Hello everyone. I never wanted to resort to this, but I feel I am out of other options. Let me start from the beginning. When my mother, Dee, was 9, her father was shot in the head and killed in a robbery while driving a cab to make extra money for his family. She was left with only her mother and her half-sister for family, but they essentially cast her out of the little "clique" they had. My mother grew up basically on her own, working three jobs at a time just to make ends meet from the time she was 14. When she met my father, Gregg, she thought she would be able to finally get away from her abusive family. He promised her he would never make her cry and that she would never have to have another worry in her life. She married him and began taking care of his two sons, ages 2 and 4, from his previous marriage and dealing with his very hateful ex-wife. A few years into the marriage, my mom became pregnant with her first child; me, Nikki, the daughter she had always wanted, and Gregg told her she neeeded to quit her job to take care of the kids now that there would be daycare for three children and it would total more than her weekly income. But, the night after I was brought home from the hospital, before my mom's stitches had even healed, Gregg shoved her so hard into a doorframe that she ripped her stitches. He didn't let her go to the hospital. It only got worse from there. Gregg grew more and more emotionally, verbally and physically abusive toward my mom, and eventually when I got old enough, me. When I was 10 and at school, my mother was home alone while Gregg was at work. Suddenly, the family dog (whom Gregg had abused without our knowledge) turned on her and attacked her. He grabbed her by the leg, sinking his canines into the soft skin behind her knee to pull her down. He then lunged at her face, narily missing it and instead grabbing her left hand. He tore it to shreds, nearly severing her index finger and deforming the skin over the back of her hand. She drove herself to the hospital, where the E.R. doctors all turned pale and sent her to a hand specialist. After numerous surgeries, she was able to save her finger, but lost most of the functionality of her hand. She now is lucky if she is able to lift a can off of the table. She also suffers from leg tendon problems due to them being damaged and requires care to stand or sit down. Might I add that this was all left up to me, because Gregg wouldn't dare help. He would always say "I worked all day." and storm off to the bedroom, leaving me to care for my mother at 10 years old. My mother later applied for disability, but was denied. She had missed the deadline for having worked for ten years prior to the incident. She received nothing to compensate her for her injury, which left her with barely the use of one of her hands, PTSD and memory loss, and no way of getting a job. About a week after that happened to her, I fell at school and broke the bone in my wrist so badly at an angle that I had to have surgery done. I was put under anesthesia so they could snap the fragments of my bone back into place. I was in a cast that stretched up to my shoulder for 2 months, all the while having to take care of my mother because Gregg "worked all day." Two years after that, we sold the house in which we had been living to move out to a very rural area to which Gregg wanted to move because it was closer to his job. We became even more isolated after this happened, only surrounded by Gregg's friends. I was forced to drop out of school because Gregg said I was spreading rumors about the way he treated us to the children of his friends. So, I stopped my education at 6th grade, only learning the things I know now through homeschool books. I had no friends and lived in the midle of nowhere. The only member of my family to whom I ever got close was my cousin, Brad. He was my mom's half-sister's son. He was my best friend and more like my brother than Gregg's two sons had ever been. We did everything we could together in the short time we had together while Gregg was at work and my mom and I would go visit him. This had to occur in secret, though, as Gregg would become beligerent if he knew we had visited a family member. My mom had raised him until he was 5 due to her sister's incompetence as a mother (she told my mom that, if she didn't care for him, she was going to put him up for adoption. My mom didn't want that to happen.) My mom and I loved him more than anyone else in the family. On the day before my mom's birthday, my grandmother gave my mom a call. She told my mom, while she was driving, that Brad had died overnight at the age of 27. When we got to the apartment in which he lived with his mother, we witnessed his body being brought out in a bodybag, an image still burned into my mind to this day. Turns out he had overdosed on his own mother's medication, which she later admitted to having given him, then denied it when she realized she could suffer legal repercussions for such statements. The whole thing was deemed an accidental overdose, despite knowing he did not have access to his mother's medications wihtout her having given them to him. But, getting a criminal case opened on his death would have required proof otherwise, and apparently there wasn't enough to warrant this happening. The funeral plans were made and the obituary was published, but suddenly the funeral home called and told my Aunt that the cost of the funeral was going to be more than anticipated and she had to change the plans. But, the obituary could not be changed. The funeral was cut down to bare minimum, a very short thing where people said goodbye and he was quickly buried. The Saturday following, my mom was standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast for Gregg, who happened to go in to work that morning for what we thought was a job. When he arrived home, however, we realized he had had different motives all along. (Please remember that this is only 4 days after my cousin passed away tragically.) Gregg stormed in and threw a piece of paprer at my mother, which turned out to be a printed out copy of my cousin's obituary. He started screaming at the top of his lungs that she and I were both liars and that what had been printed in the paper was the truth, we were just trying to keep him from going. He proceeded to hit my mother and storm off to the bedroom. It was like a nightmare that day, and I'll never forget it. My mother finally had enough in 2011, right before I turned 18. He had beat her with a crowbar that night, and I had intervened. He grabbed me by my arm and threw me at the counter, which I barely missed with the side of my skull. He put his knee in my back and told me and my mother that she and I would never get away. He said if we tried to, he would force my mom to watch as every drop of blood drained from my body before he killed her, too. That was it. Though we were terrified, we managed to leave and move in with my mom's mother, my grandmother, the abusive woman from whom my mother had tried so desperately to get away. We had nothing to our names aside from the few pieces of clothing we could grab before we left, no income, and fearing for our lives. My grandmother was all nice then, allowing us to sleep in the spare bedroom and keeping us safe in her house from Gregg. My mother filed for a restraining order and the divorce process began. It dragged on for over 2 years, every time the judge making one move after another in Gregg's favor until his final order came back. Gregg got to keep EVERYTHING, from the furniture to the equity in the house to his $45,000 401(k) to his $10,000 tool collection to his 5 HIGHLY valuable collectible vintage cars. And, on top of this, he immediately started dating his own step-sister and takes regular trips to Florida to visit her. Shortly after my grandmother attended the trial with us, she started growing abusive in the same ways Gregg had been. She started calling us names, accusing us of taking things from her that she sold long ago, and physically hurting me and my mother. She calls my Aunt, the one responsible for Brad's death, and starts lying about things we are doing, which in turn sics my mother's sister on us, where she continuously leaves us berrating and hateful messages and harasses us in any way possible, even going so far as to say my mother is responsible for Brad's death. My grandmother regularly "checks in" on the two rooms in which we live, where the only furniture we have are a few pieces we gathered from thrift stores. Now my mother and I are left with no income (we can't even get welfare because we live in a residence where the income level is too high due to my grandmother working still) and not a thing to our names. I have tried to get a job, but I am always passed over for someone with a higher education. On the off chance I do get hired, Gregg's family harasses me at my place of employment until I get fired. I have tried to get restraining orders on them, too, but there are so many members of his family that they just send another member out after me. Gregg continuously stalks me and my mother whenever we happen to get out to do grocery shopping for my gradnmother or anything else. It is so horrible here and I fear that my mother's worsening depression is going to lead to something irreversible taking place. The reason I am asking for money on here is this; I want to take the money and buy a house far away from all of this insanity, somewhere out West where no one can bother us any longer. I want away from all of the crazed people in my family who feel the need to stalk me or call me names or hurt me and leave bruises all over me and my mother. Maybe out there I would be able to get a job and better myself, go back to school and maybe go to college to become the artist I've always dreamed of becoming. But, right now, I know all I can do is sit and wait for the inevitable. My grandmother has continuously reminded us that she could sell this house and kick us out, making us live in a ditch for all she cares, and upon her death, I am uncertain as to what will happen. For all I know, we could be removed from the house at that point, too. Either way, I know my mother and I are headed for homelessness, and I can't bear the thought of this happening. Neither can my mom, and that is why she has sunk so far into a pit of depression. She has even resorted to a form of obsessive compulsive disorder called Trichotillomania, an affliction where one feels the need to constantly pull out their own hair by the root, resulting in baldness. My mother has been doing this for so long now that she has developed a bald patch where her hair will not grow back. She now wears a wig, but people still laugh and make comments because the wig she wears does not match her regular hair color, but we can't afford to get her one she truly needs. She even tried the free therapy offered at local centers, but they do not understand her disorder because it is not highly known and they have no one qualified to help her. So, she continues to pull her hair out to my dismay due to her increased depression and lack of hope. I honestly have nowhere else to turn on this matter. All the "loan assistance programs" want to place me and my mother in a dangerous area surrounded by people who want to harm us. I can't have my mom living in a place like that, unable to defend herself and living with the fear that our "home" will be broken into and robbed. Or, might I add, something much worse happening to one of us. I just can't let that happen, but I am out of other options. I am begging you to please find it in your heart to help me and my mother. Even the smallest amount you donate can help us to build a savings and buy a house. As it is common knowledge, a person with no job and no income cannot get a home loan, so I would need to buy it outright with cash. Please, please, PLEASE help me! I don't know how else to beg for this. I hope if you are taking the time to read my post that you will find it within your heart to help out someone in desperate need. It is only a matter of time before we are out on the street, left to live in the old car we have that leaks oil constantly and on which the brake are about to give out. I know you can all help me, so please help in whatever way you can. My apologies for the story being so long, but I had to describe the majority of what has happened in my life. Let me tell you that this isn't even the half of it. I really want to get my mom, as well as myself, away from these people. I can't leave her behind. I know she would die and I could not live with that on my conscience. She is the only person I have ever loved, and the only person who has never hurt me. She is the greatest mother anyone could ever imagine having, even to her step-children, who called her "mom" and changed their last names to hers in order to honor her. I am not willing to abandon her after she gave 20 years of her existence to me. Please help me. Thanks so much for your time. I appreciate it and hope you are willing to help us out of this predicament. I am very desperate and I have no one and nowhere else to which I can turn.