I just need to try..**PLEASE READ**

Jadejenov, USA

It pains me to write this. It really does. I come from a family full of pride and confidence. Where we are taught from birth to endure and strive, endure and strive. But I don't know what else to do, so I am left to rely on the kindness of faceless strangers on the internet to save us. I don't care how mad anyone gets at me for putting my 'business in the street', or how those of you reading this may think that this is just another bleeding heart story with my hand held out. It's not. I'm just as real as you are, and so is my struggle. I am a single mother like so many others in this world, of a beautiful two year old girl. She is my sun and stars. If love were edible and were able to be worn as we wouldn't want for anything in this world, however that is not the case. I work hard for everything I have. By the white knuckle of the bones in my hands to the sweat off my brow, I work. I work hard and long 12 hour shifts for my baby and I four days a week, sometimes five to keep the landlord from callin' and to put food on the table. Though after paying bills this month for instance, all I had left to my name was $26 for food for the month, gas in my falling to pieces car to get to and from work, and for diapers. I swear I don't spend money on a thing but the necessities, and I am not an alcoholic or a drug user..so I have no idea where my money is going. Just that I don't have enough. There are some occasions where I don't eat just to make sure I have enough for my child. My daughter needs new shoes and clothes... You have no idea how it feels to break down and cry in the Walmart bathroom, when you finally figure out that diapers are $9, her shoes are $12, and a decent outfit on the clearance rack is $8. I would never wish that feeling on my worst enemy, and I pray that it never happens to you. My baby is supposed to start preschool this fall, as well. She is so excited and is smart as a tack! We read every night she and I, so she knows a lot of words and colors if you ask her. Her favorite books are Mama Llama Red Pajama and a Thomas the Tank Engine book. I need her in preschool for work, since I am gone early in the morning til evening. I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and get my daughter up as well to go to the sitter's about 25 min away. The sitter I have for her now, is proving unreliable because she wants a fulltime job out of her house and doesn't really want to babysit, and is constantly raising her rate making it harder for me to pay her because she knows she is the only person I can find to watch my child from early in the morning to late in the evening. The sitter usually sits her down in front of the tv, and sometimes takes her out to play, but they're usually inside all day which is why I think she starting preschool would be wonderful for her to be with other children in a learning environment which she seems to thrive. Her preschool is $300 a month, $90/wk. I applied for a scholarship, but I have no idea what will happen if I can't pay it judging by the $26 left over from just paying bills. I know my baby really wants to go, and I need safe and reliable childcare while I work because I don't want my babysitter to just up and quit on me the day I have to go to work. She has before, but I was able to call out sick, though I very badly needed the hours. I have a small family in the area where I live, and they are struggling as well. My mother works two jobs and is trying to raise my brother and put my sister through college alone. She just divorced my daddy because of his constant drinking, and she is barely able to hold on to their three bedroom apartment. She couldn't even afford to give my brother $60 to go on a field trip, and has turned her cable off to save bills. For entertainment now, they just watch Netflix. You wouldn't be able to tell this by looking at my mama, or even if you asked her, though because like I said we endure, endure endure. I'm also trying to go back to school for an Applied Sciences degree in Criminal Justice. I was there three years ago, but was advised to leave so I can have my little girl and I am nearly finished. I am trying so hard to make a better life for my baby and I, but it feels like a constant up hill battle. I have no one else to turn to but the public. I scrimp, I save, and I cut corners but I simply don't have enough. I am an honest god-fearing woman, and I am shoving my pride aside for my daughter and family for just a little help. I'll put it plainly, My daughter needs new shoes, and clothes and I don't have much money to stretch to make that happen. It pains me greatly, to have to type this for the world to see, to put myself up for embarrassment and ridicule.. but I simply don't know what else to do, however I am still trying. That is one thing I know, how to do..TRY. I also need money for food, and for her daycare expenses so I can work. I have applied for every aid that there is possible to me, but it is not enough.. This is a sincere honest request. From one human being to another. From one mother crying out in desperation and trying to keep her head above water to another. Though you can't see them or feel them I have tears in my eyes from having to put this up here. They are just as real as I am and I am so embarrassed.. I am baring my soul and all that I have to you, unknown reader, for help. Anything you could give would help. Anything at all. With a heavy and weary heart, please... Please help us. Please.