For my kids health

Rescue my, Paragould

Hello and if you are reading this... I just want to say thanks for even considering donating to this cause. I will give you a little background first, briefly... I was raised by an extreme OCD, Bipolar, and has flight of thought constantly, Mom. Never did I have the typical childhood up bringing. I basically raised myself and watched my mom go through the legal amount of times you can be married in our home state. Just that statement alone should tell you I had no consistency and it was constant change. My mother was a mother to 4 girls, mostly a single parent, the latter part of my upbringing. With this being noted.... I always thought to myself that my mom didnt really teach me much as a child, but I am mistaken. I learned what not to be to my kids and how not to act to my children. I learned to love your kids and show them this affection on a daily basis, unlike my household- it was to be understood. We never said, 'I love you." Now..... I will say that I have had my moments and have sewn my wild oats after high school and then decided to get my life right and I finished college got married had kids.... But my mother has always been a constant battle. We never have gotten along, but I did want to respect her as she is my Mother. Even though I really had a rough child hood.... I have tried to be the better person because at the end of the day she did bring me into this world. After I got married... My family hated the fact and was jealous that my husband bought me a house and let me stay at home with the kids, etc. So there was a lot of talk behind my back about how I had always been a screw up throughout my life. Even though I still tried to give my mom the benefit of the doubt to be a good person.... It always backfires on me. Needless to say, my Mother has always tried to live her life through me and hates that I have bettered myself. With all of this... I have three beautiful children, one 13 year old, 4 year old, & 3 year old. I have over the years been constantly beat down and put under a microscope and scrutinized for every little wrong thing I do in my moms eyes.... I am 36 years old and 3 weeks ago she sent me the last of the texts before I flipped. I was already in a state of depression because of the situation with her.... I decided i was finished living.... My sister and husband standing in front of me ..... I turned up my bottle of 60 1mg xanax and started chewing.... I had had enough and as I type this I cry because someone out there reading this could never wrap their head around a mother being like this. I get it, I am a mother and could never do my kids as she has me. So after my husband saves my life by making my sister call 911 and sticking his hand down my throat ... I dont recall much after that until I wake up in ICU 2 days later and had been intubated... Then the hospital sends me to the Mental health facility for a week.... Once I get out, I find out that my mom came and got my kids from my sisters house, went straight to my attorney and wrote him a check to get temporary guardianship of my kids... My mom hid my kids from my husband and wouldnt answer his calls. Needless to say... It is a huge mess... My oldest daughter has cut herself because she hates my moms mental torture she puts her through. She isnt allowing me to see my kids. I have wrote and spoke the governors office, I have called the DHS Child abuse hotline three times last week, and I have filed a grievance with the supreme court against the attorney for the conflict of interest as he represents me in an open case at the moment with my oldest daughter and her father in a custody battle. That case has been an ongoing and current open case at the moment. My mom works for DHS as a PA and removes kids from homes, so she thinks she has the right connections and can get whatever done she wants ..... My ex step dad is a cop... I am really fighting a HUGE ARMY because its a small town and they do what they want. I have sought counsel, but the lawyer wants $5,000.00 to even start. My kids are really being put through torture and the hospital staff had to pull my 13 year old off of me because my mother sent her to the 3rd mental health facility in 2 months.... My kids only want me and this all would resolve... But I am fighting every angle to get them back.... I cry because I love my kids and hate the fact that the mother that raised me is now putting my kids through mental torture because she is wanting money... She wants every penny she can get and still lives off her mom at 56 years old. My goal is 5 thousand but anything helps and goes towards my goal of getting my kids back. God Bless and Thanks for your Time