domestic abuse

Sarah, United ki

im 33 and have a lovely 13 month daughter,i have been in a domestic abusive relationship for 7 months now, emotionally, physically and financially,worked all my life but am currently doing 3 days a week and all wages go on childcare and baby stuff as ex partner wont pay,he holds food against me to punish me knowing that i cant afford to buy food for myself as my daughter comes first,he limits the heating,we are living in dark rooms as he wont replace bulbs,he wont provide food.i am not eligible for benefits as they take his wages if hat makes sense.i cant go anywhere else untill i have enough money for me and daughter to flee/deposit for a new place to live,its very complicated,am receiving some help with british women's aid as social services,mainly emotional support/advice and have received food vouchers from them to get food at a local church but these are quite hard to get.i was offered refuge but over 100 miles away so wasn't possible for us as i would lose my job so i have to lose one or the other so a no win situation and vicious circle,i have lost a lot of weight and had to go to occupational therapists for stress etc,have been working as a carer since i was 19 helping others and now looks like i need help desperately,im trying to justify begging in my heart as never been in such a miserable place and never had to do this before so hope when my situation is better i can repay back by helping someone in need,i work so hard from min i wake up at 6 until i fall into bed from exhaustion but gets me nowhere,just feel so stuck here at mo,making step to gets out but long road.would love a bit of time out or take my daughter to beach or be able to buy some food instead of having to hide tins of tuna ready for next punishment,i have no phone or car so feeling isolated but at least got my trusty broken old laptop...just about,but desperate times call for desperate measures so thanks a million to anyone that is able to hoping this is just a short time solution untill im freed of this hellish to all form an exhausted hungery sad mummy sarah and daughter xxxxx