domestic abuse

Sarah, England

hi my names sarah and im 33 and i have a beautiful 13 month old daughter,i have been in a domestic abusive realtionship for 7 months now,biggest mistake was moving in with him after having our first child and now i feel completley stuck,not only am i being abused financially but also emoitionaly and physically.i work 3 days a week but all my money goes on childcare for those days that i am at work,my ex partner holds food agaisnt me to punish me as he knows i canot afford to buy food etc after putting my child first so basically i suffer because i put my child first.i myself am not eligable for any benefits as i live under the same roof as him so they take his wages into consideration.i am receiveing some support from british womens aid and social services to make steps to flee but its very difficult as hard to find a new home as no money for deposit etc,no refuge to where i live and closest one was a 100 miles from me so would lose my job if i fled so far away,things have got so bad that british womens aid sent me a food voucher that i can get at my local church which really helped but can only get this sometimes.ive had occupational health reveiws as my work is suffering as a result of my situation,ive lost most of my friends as dont have any social life at all,i work hard i dont stop untill i wake up in morning and fall into bed at night and am truely exhausted as im treated like a slave.ive had gp appointments and am losing weight which is prob causing ex wouldnt even buy any lightbulbs and me and daughter were in this dark house with hardly any heating as he put a limit on it.ive been in care industry for most of my life and love my job helping others so just cant believe im now the one asking for help.just feels like everything spiraling out of control and you dont who to turn to.but i am stuck untill i find some way of housing me and my daughter.i would never dream of asking anyone for money and never have done but for now desperate calls ask for desperate measures.i would just love to have a little bit of money so that i can eat and not have to worry about hiding tins of tuna or i would love a bit of time out for once in longest 7 months of my life by taking my daughter on a nice day out or even putting some away for a deposit for our own love to all that can help xxxxx